Author: bardofupton

Queer, autistic, disabled, non-binary, mixed race, demisexual, asexual/graysexual, aromantic. My pronouns are they/them. All work original to and copyright by me, except where otherwise noted.

Writing project, July 2020

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This month’s word is sunny, meaning “abounding in sunshine”, “exposed to, lighted, or warmed by the direct rays of the sun”, “pertaining to or proceeding from the sun; solar”, “resembling the sun” or “cheery, cheerful, or joyous”.

Sorry this one is so late; I had real trouble trying to finish it.

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They call me Sunny. It took me a long time to understand that this was a mean joke. It’s not that I don’t have a sense of humour, it’s just different to most people’s. So I don’t get their jokes, and they don’t get mine. This makes it hard for me to make friends.

People always called me names, said I was humourless, weird, boring – different, wrong. But I never called them names, was never mean to them. I’d try to hide, but they’d always find me. I’d run, but they’d catch me.

So I learned to endure, to withdraw inside myself and present a stoic face to the world. So then they called me emotionless. It was at that point I realised there was no way to win, no way in which the decks were not stacked against me. That they would never let me be, let me be different, let me be myself. The only thing they would accept was the only thing I could not give: to be like them, to be one of them.

I’d tried to approximate it in the past, but it was never quite right. They were always having a conversation I couldn’t fully follow, always following rules I neither knew nor understood. I was always one step sideways, looking at them from an angle.

Always apart. Always different. But eventually, I realised, not wrong.

© bardofupton 2020

Reading project, week ending 9 Aug 2020

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What have I read this week?

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay

This is a novel about a young girl named Wen and her two fathers. They are on holiday in a remote cabin when four people arrive insisting they have to make a terrible choice. I didn’t like this; it was just horrible.

Beethoven Was One-sixteenth Black by Nadine Gordimer

This is a collection of short stories. I didn’t like these; I couldn’t get into them and didn’t finish the book.

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Reading project, week ending 26 Jul 2020

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What have I read this week?

Missing by Kelley Armstrong

This is a YA novel about a girl named Winter who lives in a small rural town. I enjoyed this; it was a fun read and the characters were interesting.

Forest of Ruin (Age of Legends Book 3) by Kelley Armstrong

This is a fantasy novel about twin sisters Moria and Ashyn who have powers over the spirits of the dead. I enjoyed this; it was a good conclusion to the series and a fun read.

Critical Race Theory: An Introduction by Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic

This is a nonfiction book which is an introduction to critical race theory. It discusses how CRT arose, the main players, and what it is. I found this really interesting and quite accessibly written and would definitely recommend it to anyone who is interested in CRT specifically, or race-based critiques in general.

The Orphans of Raspay by Lois McMaster Bujold

This is a fantasy novella about a man named Penric, a priest who is possessed by a demon named Desdemona. I enjoyed this; it’s a fun read and I like the characters and the world.

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Reading project, week ending 19 Jul 2020

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What have I read this week? Just one.

Betrayals (The Cainsville Series Book Four) by Kelley Armstrong

This is a fantasy novel about Olivia, Ricky and Gabriel, who are avatars of an ancient doomed romantic triangle. In this incarnation, Olivia must choose between the two men. I quite enjoyed this; it’s an easy read and the characters are quite compelling. I’d definitely read more in the series.

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Reading project, week ending 12 Jul 2020

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What have I read this week? Sorry, I forgot to post this, even though it was ready on time!

Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson

This is a speculative fiction novel set in future Toronto, when the main part of the city has been abandoned by the authorities. I did enjoy it, although there are some elements that didn’t age well, but I found the world and the characters interesting.

Seed to Harvest by Octavia E. Butler

This is a collection of science fiction novels, about an offshoot of humanity who have a variety of psychic powers. The books in the collection are Wild Seed, Mind of My Mind, Clay’s Ark and Patternmaster. I enjoyed Wild Seed the most, and Clay’s Ark the least, but found problematic elements in all of them. The stories themselves are interesting, I just had some issues with some of the content.

Lilith’s Brood by Octavia E. Butler

This is a collection of science fiction novels, about the remnants of humanity who are sav d by an alien race. The books in the collection are Dawn, Adulthood Rites and Imago. I found the stories interesting, and they were an easy read, but like Seed to Harvest, I had some issues with the content.

© bardofupton 2020