aphantasic love (poem)

I wrote this one a while back but for whatever reason didn’t publish it.

—————-

when you’re gone
i can’t see your face
but
when i hear your voice
it makes my heart lift
and when you enter the room
sometimes i forget to breathe
and the smell of you
your weight against me
the feel of you in my arms
means home
but
when you’re gone
i can’t see your face

© bardofupton 2021

A new poem

It’s been a while since I posted a new poem. Well, what can I say? 2020 happened, and so did 2021. I haven’t felt that poetic. I started this one last year, but only really think it’s finished now.

the world is burning
and I’m choking on it
rage and grief clogging my throat
the taste of ash
and the urge to scream
fight in my mouth
mixing into furious tears
I feel too much to speak
words tangle inside me
and only silence emerges

just because I cannot speak
does not mean I do not feel
do not care
do not rage
do not despair

my silence is angry too

© bardofupton 2021

A new poem

This is another new poem.

today
i have a sad
feeling
downhearted and discouraged
unloved
craving touch
skin hunger blooming
loneliness blossoms
i fall into myself
down dark deep
inside
drowning in myself

i have a sad
today.

© bardofupton 2019

wolf (poem)

This is a new poem. It’s been quite a while since I wrote any poetry, so I’m happy to have something new to put up.

I’m feeling quite wolf today
wanting to tear and rend
and howl at the moon
my hands become paws
ripping away with sharpened claws
longer teeth and elongated jaws
I’d like to shred my problems
and scatter them to the winds
solve my issues with a snarl
and a flash of fang
because
today i’m feeling quite wolf

© bardofupton 2019

dizzy (poem)

This is another new poem.

off kilter
at an angle to the world
i clutch the wall
like i’m hanging from a cliff
as if that grip
is the only thing that can save me
i spin
standing still
the world rock solid
and me in motion
internally

© bardofupton 2019

the river (poem)

Another new poem.

the river is high this morning
solitary birds flap above
waves wrinkle the surface
bottles bob like ducks in the current
surf crashes against the embankment steps
low clouds block out the sun
promising rain
on a dingy winter morning
crossing the bridge

© bardofupton 2019

A new poem

This is another new poem.

things bubble up
like sharks from an oil spill
sudden and savage and shocking
emotions surprising me
so that’s how i feel!
i wish i could tell in advance
and not be ambushed by feeling
every. single. time.

© bardofupton 2019

scars (poem)

This is a new poem.

my scars are the map of my life
my history written in my body
each mark a story a step a stumble
each bruised or broken place a memory
a memorial in flesh
a walking history
traceable by fingers
visible on x-rays
my uniqueness stamped on skin and bones
i read myself in the mirror
the book of my self decoded
my secrets laid out for my eyes to see
a palimpsest of my journey
the map that marks the territory of my existence
i close my eyes and read my story by touch
feel my history under my skin
decode my past
i remember my yesterdays
what I’ve survived
and i feel strong
alive and present

© bardofupton 2019